Let’s discuss: These days it’s hard to be a woman in both the real world and the virtual world

When I first joined Second Life Gor, I was drawn to a kind of avatar and clothing that were … let’s just call it sexy. And when wearing outfits like the one featured in this post, I was chatted up a lot – a lot, a lot! – by guys and girls in IM. And it was very clear what a lot of them wanted. Some of them were very explicit about it ‘lesbian sex, you and me CLIMAX’. I declined such offers but it got me thinking.

credit: Miss Marlies Dasmijn

In the real world, if a woman dresses sexy and provocatively, she is chatted up a lot. Sometimes she is more than chatted up and if something happens to her, like being raped, some people believe it to be her fault, because she invited it by looking that way. I don’t subscribe to this line of thought but it is a bit weird to me when the same thing happens in Second Life Gor.

I do think it is important to distinguish, between rape role play, which is nearly always fully consensual, and nonconsensual virtual assault.

Rape role play on Gor  in all its variations are problematic in their own right, in that they reinforce rape myths. When a “woman” (who may of course actually be a man using a female avatar) “accepts” a rape animation, she is essentially “confirming” to her Gorean role playing partner that women find rape a “turn on” and “sexy.”

I can only respond that I have, and have talked to many online who have experienced psychological and emotional coercion from nonconsensual assaults.

With regard to being forced or duped into a rape situation by “griefers,” I would say that the ability to log off or block IM merely reduces the sense of having been violated. I want to quote briefly from an account which happened to my avatar in which no consent to rape was given.

“ Fabi didnt care about anything that girl said, he would be disgusted by the hairy and dirty kind of cunt he saw between her legs. still he would pull down his skirt a little to be able to take out his cock, including some huge balls. “you gonna carry my seed and carry a soldier inside of you, that soldier will raise and never know his father, you will have a really awkward conversation with him, trying to explain that you were raped by a stranger. just tell your son” he would ram his cock into the red haired’s vagina, cumming instantly”, standing up, laughing and walking slowly away, on his way he would pick up chocolates leash”

Although simulated, it was a deliberate, calculated, and practiced act of violence. It happened in seconds.  Was this a “real” rape? Of course not. That is not to say, however, that the virtual experience cannot also be emotionally disturbing or even traumatic.

Many would argue (I suspect mostly biological male players) that rape is a part of Gor and that you consent to it by playing in Gor in the first place.

I approached Linden Lab moderator about sexual intimidation and was told.

“You will not be informed as to what, if any, action is taken”

“You cannot be raped in SL unless you R/P it voluntarily. They are only words, it’s no rape (that doesn’t excist in sl, you always have to allow animations yourself), the words he speaks are just making you feel bad”

I wish I could say that Linden Lab was taking more positive and vigorous steps to combat nonconsensual behaviour. The Abuse Reporting procedure is almost entirely opaque: women are essentially revictimized by the system because no effort is made to inform them about any disciplinary action that may have occurred. Click here.

In the final victimization of women, you cannot report this issue in world. Because of TOS you are not allowed to post IM logs or mention names, if you do so you risk getting reported for it.

For advice click here.

© Lunacaleengpanthers


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